An Unpleasant Surprise
by itsfinnmcmissile
Summary: After a terrible accident, KITT is nearly destroyed. Fortunately, Bonnie knows how to help him.
1. Chapter 1

I tiredly sit down on one of the many benches which are strategically placed around the Foundation for Law And Government's elegant property. The bench is cold and damp, but I hardly notice as I think about my poor partner. What was KITT thinking when he drove off the edge of that cliff?

No, I know exactly what he was thinking. He was protecting me from harm. The fact that it damaged his body beyond repair was an unfortunate consequence of fulfilling his primary directive which is to keep me safe at all costs.

So here I am, waiting for Bonnie to tell me if the most annoying but loveable car I've ever met will ever be able to go on another mission with me. I'd be sitting next to him and talking to him, but Bonnie kicked me out of the garage. She said I was making it hard for her to concentrate. I guess I could have stayed, but she looked pretty angry... Kind of like she blamed me for KITT's condition. And if she really blames me, I guess she does have good reason for doing so.

I stand up and wander back toward the garage. Bonnie is going to have to get over being annoyed by my presence~I need to know if KITT will be okay. I walk up the driveway and reach for the door.

"Michael! What a pleasant surprise!" Devon Miles, the leader of FLAG and one of the most tactful people I know, says as he walks over. As usual, he's wearing a grey suit even though it's a bit too fancy to wear in this weather. He likes to wear nice clothing.

"Hello, Devon. Have you come to check on KITT too?" I ask, feeling a bit suspicious. Devon hardly ever means it when he says that meeting someone is a 'surprise'.

Devon smiles a bit too happily. "Oh no, I just came to tell you that Bonnie says KITT will be just fine. She still wants to be left alone, by the way. Would you like to play a game of chess with me? I find that it's a splendid way to while away a few hours."

My eyes narrow slightly. No, I don't really want to play chess right now. I want to check on my car! But I suppose that playing chess is better than sitting around and waiting for Bonnie to finish working on KITT. No doubt damage that serious will take hours to fix, and even worrying about a friend can become boring after a while.

"Sure," I say.

* * *

><p>A few days later, Bonnie finally tells me that KITT is functioning again. Feeling much more delighted than anyone should feel about any machine, I hurry to the garage and am about to open the door when it rolls open and a shiny black Ford Model T drives out.<p>

My mouth falls open in shock.

"Hello, Michael, I am the Knight Industries Model T, or KIM if you prefer," it says, rolling closer and coming to a stop a few inches in front of me.

I stare at Bonnie and Devon, outraged. "Where's KITT?" I yell.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well actually, I am KITT. I just couldn't resist freaking you out a bit, Michael," the antique car says mildly.

"I'm still freaked out," I snap, "and I want answers!"

Devon raises his hand to silence me. I angrily note that his eyes are twinkling with amusement. "Well, Michael, we didn't have any other cars handy. No extra Trans Ams, no Mustangs, no Corvettes or 911 Carreras. Just a Ford Model T in perfect condition. In fact, Bonnie had already been bulletproofing it before this ...incident occurred, so it was relatively simple for her to install KITT in it and equip the car with most of his more useful special features, such as Turbo Boost and extreme fuel efficiency."

I stare at my boss, trying to channel all of my outrage into one look. "We'll be the biggest laughingstock west of the Mississippi, you crazy old man!"

"I pointed that out to Bonnie and Devon as well," the Model T, no, KITT comments, "they said it would make some of our enemies let their guards down, and keep you humble."

"Well don't protect them, buddy!" I say sourly to my silly looking car.

"I was most certainly not protecting them. I was merely restating what they told me so you might better understand their motives," KITT sounds ever so slightly frustrated.

"All right! Sorry, KITT." I return to glaring at Devon, "When will KITT be properly repaired?"

"But Michael, KITT _is_ properly repaired! I don't know what you're talking about," Devon Miles says innocently.

I mutter something very rude under my breath, then open the Model T's door and sit down in the driver's seat. Apparently Bonnie modified the controls because they don't look half as primitive as I expected. And although the new KITT doesn't look like Darth Vader's bathroom, he certainly seems to have a lot of the original's abilities. Good thing Devon wasn't lying.

I drive KITT away from my sometimes-friends as fast as possible. Without resorting to turbo boost, 'as fast as possible' seems to be about 60 MPH.

* * *

><p>We haven't gone more than a few miles before Devon calls us.<p>

"Michael, KITT, I have a mission for you. KARR is on the loose again and needs to be stopped."

"You can't be serious," KITT says, shocked.

"Sadly, I am," Devon replies. "Bonnie did improve your laser so it works faster and more efficiently however, so now you should be able to destroy KARR's front scanner in one second, from a maximum distance of 150 yards... and have three chances to do it."

"Hurrah," I say sarcastically, "this mission will be so easy.".

"Well actually, I have a feeling that this is not going to go very well," comments KITT.

I lean my forehead on the steering wheel for a moment, then try to make myself to cheer up by forcing a smile onto my face. "Hey you never know, KARR might be so busy laughing at us that he won't notice us trying to destroy his main scanner!"

"I find that situation highly unlikely to occur. He would notice almost instantly and, as you may know, my prototype was not programmed to have a sense of humor."

"Thanks for crushing my dreams, KITT," I growl.

The Knight Industries Two Thousand doesn't respond. Instead he honks his horn for no apparent reason.

I burst out laughing at the sound of KITT's antique car horn. The old fashioned noise is just so ridiculous coming from the most expensive car on earth that I can't stop myself. I vaguely notice through my tears of merriment that KITT has switched over to auto cruise mode, but don't complain. I needed a good laugh.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**Sorry if this chapter was a bit lame! The next chapter should be more fun, since it will have a nice Car-of-the-Future-Versus-Car-of-the-Past battle. Hopefully you all enjoyed this one a bit though!**


	3. Chapter 3

_This story switches from first person (Michael's point of view) to third person, then back to first again. Hopefully it isn't too weird._

* * *

><p>We drive toward KARR's last known location at KITT's fastest non-turbo-boosted speed so we won't be given a ticket for driving too slowly. I'm still feeling a bit like this is all a goofy dream, and occasionally I start laughing again. KITT drives in silence.<p>

We reach the town and call the police and they tell us where KARR is hiding, then we go to his hiding spot.

* * *

><p>KITT's scanner light swept back and forth quickly as he moved into the danger zone. Although it was his policy to deny all accusations of his having feelings, he couldn't help admitting to himself that he felt, well, nervous. After all, he wasn't exactly at full strength at the moment. And even if he wasn't hugely impaired, even a slight disadvantage might be enough to let KARR win.<p>

"KARR is definitely in there, Michael," he said after a bit.

"Good. Want to tell him we're here?" Michael replied, smiling a bit grimly.

"Come out and confront us like a brave machine, KARR!" called KITT. He amplified his voice so KARR couldn't miss hearing it.

KARR drove into the open, his own scanner light sweeping back and forth unnaturally fast. "Is that you, inferior production line model known as KITT?" he snarled in his cold, feral way.

"It is me, KARR, and-"

KARR cut him off abruptly. "Oh dear, it seems even the most inferior can become even more inferior. I feel for you, so I'll let you and your puny human live. Goodbye."

And with that, KARR raced away. KITT and Michael set off in pursuit.

"We have to find a way to intercept KARR," Michael said.

"I agree. But how can we do it?" KITT replied, his voice modulator light flashing as steadily as ever.

Michael glared. "I was hoping you'd have some ideas, pal."

"Ah."

"How about we get Bonnie to stick you in a fighter jet and bomb KARR until he dies?" Michael asked.

"_Michael_, you know FLAG and every law enforcer in the state would shout you down," KITT replied, exasperated.

"Just an idea, pal," grumbled Michael.

They followed KARR in silence for a bit.

KITT finally spoke up. "Michael, if I may be so bold as to make a suggestion?"

"Go right ahead."

"If we could parachute down in front of KARR and shoot him with the laser while he's still attempting to figure out what just happened, we would have a .0037 chance of destroying him."

"And you even considered this idea?" Michael squawked.

"It was a mere suggestion-"

"Let's do it."

* * *

><p>And so, not much later, a big helicopter was hauling us toward KARR's location.<p>

"I believe that my axles and tires will be capable of surviving the landing," KITT mumbles.

"They might not?" I ask, my voice squeaking a bit. Normally I'm not scared of heights, but the idea of KITT being worried for his own safety can be... unsettling.

"The chance of us succeeding is very small, Michael. Did you not understand the complete statistics I gave you?"

I feel my stomach churn unpleasantly. "You know I don't read your detailed situation analyses unless they're vitally important!"

"You really are impossible, aren't you?" KITT says with an electronic sigh.

"_We'll be at your destination in thirty seconds, so get ready,_" says the pilot.

"Roger that," I reply, swallowing hard as I try to not be sick.

The moment comes and KITT starts falling. We slow as he releases his parachute, and land with a heavy thud. KITT abandons the parachute and we drive straight at KARR.

I smash my hand down on the laser activation button and the green light hits KARR's scanner light.

KARR tries to swerve away and finally succeeds, his scanner only letting out a small amount of smoke. I swear softly and use KITT's turbo boost to pass KARR so we're ahead of him again.

"You shoot, I'll drive," I tell KITT.

"Understood, Michael," he says.

KARR is charging us, weaving from side to side so KITT will have trouble locking onto his scanner. I realize that this time KARR won't be jumping off cliffs to avoid hitting us. He isn't intimidated by a Ford Model T.

KITT fires again, and misses.

KARR stops swerving and accelerates. KITT fires again. KARR's scanner explodes. Then we collide.

Silence.

"KITT, are you okay?" I yell.

Silence.

"KITT!"

More silence.

I climb out through the sun roof and survey the damage. The good news? KARR is definitely dead. The bad news? KITT looks pretty dead, too. The soft, reassuring sound of his scanner isn't audible, and he looks very badly damaged.

"Oh KITT," I whisper, feeling terrible for not saving him. I call FLAG, "Devon, I need you to come as soon as possible. KITT is very badly damaged."

"_We'll be there shortly_," Devon replies.


	4. Chapter 4 and Epilogue

I pace outside the FLAG garage, scuffing my feet on the ground so a dark line of damper pebbles appears behind me. Every time I hear any sort of noise, I turn to see if Bonnie or KITT is coming out of the garage. Neither one ever does, however, and I continue to pace mindlessly as I wait. I know Bonnie is an amazing automobile mechanic, but KARR _did_ crush KITT like he was a soda can. I shudder at that thought.

Finally, after my ninety-second trip past the door, I lose patience and open it.

"How's KITT?" I call.

Bonnie squawks and trips on one of the Model T's mangled tires which was foolishly left in her path, probably by one of the newer mechanics. She steadies herself and glares at me. "How do you expect me to work when you're spying on me, Michael?"

"Sheesh, Bonnie! I just wanted to check on my partner," I tell her, rolling my eyes.

"Well he'll be okay. However, he doesn't want you to see him at this point. He said something about you being very unsympathetic when he was a TV, whatever that means," Bonnie raises an eyebrow at me.

I snort. "Poor KITT. I suppose I wasn't the most sympathetic partner ever."

"I can believe it. You aren't a very tactful person." Bonnie sighs suddenly, "I don't think we'll be able to salvage the Model T. My grandfather would be angry if he could see it now; he spent most of his life's savings on it."

"So KITT can be a Trans Am again?" I say hopefully, ignoring the obvious attempt to make me feel guilty.

"Actually, Goliath was recently found and pulled out of the ocean. We were thinking that you and KITT might like a bit more protection..." Devon says, coming into the garage.

I gape at him. "You gotta be kidding. KITT would be so angry... he'd probably overheat with rage and cook his brain!" I pause, "And I don't really want to drive that hulk either, for that matter."

"I thought you'd say that. Still, it would save us a small fortune since Goliath is in surprisingly good condition and already has the molecular bonded shell," Devon smiles, no doubt enjoying my shock.

I clasp my hands behind my back and pace for a few moments before spinning to glare at Devon again. "And HOW do you expect me to go on undercover missions when my partner looks like a semi and sounds like a raging bull? I'd rather quit FLAG than try something so idiotic!"

Devon shrugs, still smiling. "Ah well, I suppose you're right. And because I expected that, I purchased a Trans Am today!"

"It'll take at least a week to prepare it," Bonnie comments.

"Until then you can go on vacation, my boy!" says my boss happily.

"KITT will be bored silly. I can't just leave him here," I say firmly.

"KITT will be spending that week being tested to see how he's holding up to being knocked around so much. He won't have time to be bored," Devon replies.

"I still don't want to leave him," I grumble.

Bonnie sighs. "He'll be fine. I know him at least as well as you do, and we both know he'll just be frustrated if he comes with you in his current portable form as he would be if he stayed here."

"True," I say with a nod, "But can I please visit him first?"

"Promise not to laugh?" Bonnie asks.

"I promise," I say.

She leads me over to a medium sized grey computer with a small monitor.

"KITT, Michael wanted to come visit you. I tried to stop him, but he insisted."

Writing appears on the monitor's screen. _I'm not surprised. And Michael, stop laughing! I can't see you, but I can hear you just fine._

"Sorry," I say to my poor partner, stifling my laughter by biting the inside of my cheek quite hard. "I just can't help thinking that this is funnier than when you were a TV."

_In what way is this more amusing than me being a television? _KITT types. I can nearly sense his outrage.

"At least you were portable. Now you're, ah, a bit too big to travel anywhere," I say.

My partner doesn't dignify that with a response.

"So how are you feeling, pal?" I ask.

_Very slow and a bit like a prisoner in a tiny cell,_ complains KITT.

"You have my sympathy," I tell him, "Devon wants me to go on vacation by the way. Want to come?"

_I'd rather be a database manager again than go on vacation like this! _

I smile at him, even though he can't see it. "Okay. You'll be fine while I'm gone, right?"

_Of course, Michael, _says KITT, _Bonnie and her assistants treat me better than you ever have._

I shrug. "Okay, I'll let you hang out with your servants. Don't boss 'em around too much, your highness."

_I am a just and kind king. I wouldn't dream of overworking them. _KITT tells me.

* * *

><p>I stride into the garage, feeling happy after a week of hanging out with pretty girls by the ocean. There really is nothing quite as nice as getting away from the Foundation after a tiring mission, but it's good to be back.<p>

KITT's smooth, ever so slightly snobby voice cuts through my thoughts. "We are most displeased, Michael! Why did you not knock, as is customary when requesting a royal audience?"

I turn on the light and gawk at my partner in amazement. He's parked on an automobile lift with a red carpet (which appears to be velvet!) set under him... and perched on KITT's roof is a rather large and very shiny crown.

I stare at him for several moments. Then I realize that this is perfectly ordinary, at least by my life's standards, and the insanity of my existence hits me full force.

My knees buckle and everything goes dark.

**THE END**

* * *

><p><em>Notes:<em>

_Wow. Writing a multi-chapter story is a lot harder than writing a oneshot. I salute all those who have successfully completed one of these things._

_Thank you to Empratrizdelanoche for writing all those encouraging reviews, and to everyone else for reading this story. I hope it didn't disappoint anyone too bady, and that you all enjoyed at least some of it. :)_

_I've written an epilogue for this story. It crosses the line from 'odd' to 'absolutely insane', but I thought it was well written and funny enough to be a nice finale. So if you don't mind insanity, feel free to scroll down the page a bit more and read it..._

* * *

><p><strong>EPILOGUE<strong>

It took Michael Knight three weeks to recover after his mental breakdown. Fortunately, he recovered almost completely and was only found muttering under his breath about 'the apocalypse is coming. We gotta stop Garthe and KARR from blowin' up the paper clip factory!' very occasionally. He nearly had a relapse when Devon died after being hit by a milk truck and KITT was forced to take control of FLAG, but fortunately he and his rather busy car/boss were able to stop Garthe and KARR's nearly successful plot anyway. How they managed to defeat two ghosts is still unknown, although many suspect that they used the same weird telepathic connection Michael used to sense KITT in the past.

Anyway, the Foundation survived and became a huge part of the US government. So huge, in fact, that KITT became more powerful than the president.

Bonnie was so proud that she went broke buying him a genuine gold-and-ruby crown for his birthday. And Michael hired a man named Jake McQueen and a talking car named Hannah Tyree to do most of FLAG's dirty work for him because he really didn't want to do it without KITT.

And they all lived happily ever after.


End file.
